Cool it.

for Myself

Hey lady--
You need a prayer to
Get you by
No, baby.
Don't cry--won't do you none
Tears be gone.
That's it baby.
Listen up and
Listen good.
Do what you should
Do what's good, okay?
You're crying again.
You say it's too hard.
Well honey, life's like that--
Always and forever.
So accept. Don't weep.
Yelp for help. Yeah, sure--
Reason ain't there to stop.
Baby, hold on. Fight.
Stick to your guns and
Fight with all you can.
Suck your gut in and smile
For awhile, even if
It kills you, see--
Life's a bitch
…but so are you-
Lady.

-den-
-october 21, 2001-
-7:40 PM-
-from a piece of yellow paper-

Widow's Embrace

Oh joy, oh happiness
What smiles have you?
Meet my friend-Sir Alfred
To strive, to seek, to find
We all make mistakes
We all break promises
We all weep and laugh
We hardly even bother
To notice
Each other's eyes
Either bloodshot
Or deep set…does it matter?
Should we like it?
We could. You would.
You're neither here nor there
Where are you?
In the back of my mind
You stay-so far away
Yet…you remain.

-september 18, 2001-
-10:04 AM-
-g202, introso time-
-from a notebook-

Brain tumor

Pain.
Throbbing--so intense
Can barely stay awake
Can hardly stay alive
Soothe me with your voice
You need to help me breathe.

Laughter…
Spillin' over like
An overflowing river
Can't stop
Don't stop
We all need to be happy.

Silence--
Its deafening sound
Captivates me
Holds me tight
Heals you right
Now…we're fine.

-september 17, 2001-
-11:20 AM-
-g202, dastruc time-
-from a notebook-

Conversations

for James

walk a mile
talk a while
we must be happy
...don't you think?
i'm mellow
you're blushing
i'm thinking
i'm smiling
as if nothing bothers
us at all.
might we be more
than this?
should we push
farther away?
you show me your scar
it looks pretty weird
but it hurt you
more than it should.
i feel for you.
i show you mine
now i feel fine
...all because of this
this fantasy
ought to never end
for me.

-july 6 2001, 1:40pm, g210-
-from a piece of pad paper-