Nice Morning

Nothing could be worse than this.
Finding out it can never
never be more
than this.
When all I can think of doing
right now is to
sleep off my worries
turned truth--someone is
sighing dreamily in
deep sleep, completely
unknowing.
While swimming in
oblivion, I search for
you,
when in reality, I'm actually
lost IN you.

-september 6, 2003-
-5:01AM-
-Burgundy, U1412-

6-5-4-3-2-1

Missing you is like
breaking a tooth from
gnawing on hard
candy. It hurts like
hell--after momentary
bliss.

The mere remembrance of you requires
brain damage, tongue-biting--
after much bleeding and
headaches, I still can't seem
to get through.

Looking back, I
wonder why silence
is an option for two
free spirits.

A step forward I take, but
trappings keep holding
me back.

It begins to rain. It almost
always does.

Why it does--it's beyond me.


-June 3, 2003-
-8:50 AM, Digital Time-
-g212-

Concrete mind

Took me a long time to
see for myself
how everything is
like clockwork.
How she sings
a random line
of a song, long
forgotten.
How he wipes his
forehead with
the back of his
soft hand.
How she smoothens a
notebook page first
with her hand before
writing on it.
How he closes
his eyes and
bobs his head
to rock music.
How she impulsively
hugs unknowing
people from
behind.
How he
beckons to his
friends with a
sudden nod.
How she blushes
and turns red
at the sound of
his infectious laugh.
How he blinks
and flashes
a grin at her
eccentricities.
How she feels
her heart
in her throat
when he walks past.
How he wonders
why the room lights
up when she
walks in.
Indeed, everything
is like clockwork.


-march 31, 2003-
-7:45 PM-
-pc-

Vday mush

today
i decide to sit under a big old tree
with the breeze blowing
humming with the rest of me.
today
many bonds strengthened
many souls conceived
many friendships rekindled.
today
people think of all loves lost
promises broken
tears shed over the same old drama.
today
the usual burden on my shoulders nowhere to be found
the life-long company of loneliness has eluded me
my chest weightless and airborne.
today
everything i say will probably be mundane
i will gladly ignore the "love is in the air" routine of strangers
and tomorrow, i will again feel lost and only remember
today.

-february 14, 2003-
-8:01 AM-
-DLSU Ampitheater-

Gnawed

for no one


Cupid's claws cling unto you

like this morning's first rinse of shampoo

your grin tells me

you're mersmerized, oblivious to the taste

of that someone's sweet smell that keeps you going

i pound on my chest

forcing it to beat beautifully along with

the pitter-patter of raindrops on the glass roof

wishing that i wanted to fit into the picture

hoping i had the audacity to say to you:

"would you be my anti-valentine?"

-february 10, 2003-
-10:53 AM-
-g304a-

Thinking perilous thoughts

the Stars have fallen...
on the roof, on the wet
streets, on my lashes--
the Sky is an endless black,
eternal, empty and forgotten.
even the Moon hid, for it
feels pain to see its loved ones
far from reach..
nothing
can replace the Stars--
or the Sky on which it
used to lie.
nothing
can make the lonely Heavens
worth seeking, worth wishing on.
the Stars have fallen...
and so shall the rest.

-january 29, 2003-
-10:30 AM-
-J304, then G206-