Vday mush

today
i decide to sit under a big old tree
with the breeze blowing
humming with the rest of me.
today
many bonds strengthened
many souls conceived
many friendships rekindled.
today
people think of all loves lost
promises broken
tears shed over the same old drama.
today
the usual burden on my shoulders nowhere to be found
the life-long company of loneliness has eluded me
my chest weightless and airborne.
today
everything i say will probably be mundane
i will gladly ignore the "love is in the air" routine of strangers
and tomorrow, i will again feel lost and only remember
today.

-february 14, 2003-
-8:01 AM-
-DLSU Ampitheater-

Gnawed

for no one


Cupid's claws cling unto you

like this morning's first rinse of shampoo

your grin tells me

you're mersmerized, oblivious to the taste

of that someone's sweet smell that keeps you going

i pound on my chest

forcing it to beat beautifully along with

the pitter-patter of raindrops on the glass roof

wishing that i wanted to fit into the picture

hoping i had the audacity to say to you:

"would you be my anti-valentine?"

-february 10, 2003-
-10:53 AM-
-g304a-

Thinking perilous thoughts

the Stars have fallen...
on the roof, on the wet
streets, on my lashes--
the Sky is an endless black,
eternal, empty and forgotten.
even the Moon hid, for it
feels pain to see its loved ones
far from reach..
nothing
can replace the Stars--
or the Sky on which it
used to lie.
nothing
can make the lonely Heavens
worth seeking, worth wishing on.
the Stars have fallen...
and so shall the rest.

-january 29, 2003-
-10:30 AM-
-J304, then G206-

Harbinger

muddled thoughts
of you
rarely pass up;
they always make me
think,
ponder and blink
all over the place.

you must have known
the upshot you have
on me. helpless
and spellbound on
the idea of you and i.
the constant pitter-patter
of my aching chest.

a bit of me falls
every dull day away;
faceless, i blend into
the crowd of aficionados.
you remain unaware
of the tears that glide down
my cheeks.

or the ones on yours.

-october 14, 2002-
-12:05 PM-
-PC-

Paradise

for You. you know who you are.

let me pretend
to be yours for the moment.
to be the star you look at
during sleepless summer nights,
be the crisp morning air
you breathe in, that fills you
with life,
to be the song in your head
you can't evade,
to be someone--
you crave for and cherish.
let me make-believe,

-september 6, 2002-
-3:48 PM-
-KFC Coastal-

Blurred

rants.

gasoline rainbows
on the wet asphalt,
beautifully untouched,
resembling the
friendly raindrops
of this morning's shower.
i envy you...
for you deny me
the feeling of
being silent in one corner--
my head in my hands
but no tears.
too numb to cry now.
wishing i were of rainbows,
and you
my raindrop.

-august 23, 2002-
-12:25 PM-
-pizza hut, taft avenue-

Exam Something

Today

Nothing feels right

To the not-so-righteous.

She feigns joyfulness to strangers

To stop them from looking past the face.

Tumultuous emotions. The world is one big maze.

She suddenly screams and gets the urge to throw something

Then she smiles at the thought of sunlight on fields.

Not everything’s that better—but She figured,

What the heck.

Tomorrow’s a new day.

-date unknown... august 2002-
-Miko's house-

Wanna eat lunch?

from here, i can see the back of your neck
how every hair moves as you nod
how your eyelashes sweep the air which smells of you
how your foot taps to the rhythm of a song playing in your mind
from here, i notice everything there is
but not once did you turn to face me
don't worry, all's fine
i'm content being behind you all the time
when you look back, all you'll see is me
ready to smile in case you wonder why
i am still here.

-july 25, 2002-
-10:30 AM-
-g211, distru time s11-

An uncommon scene

downtown parade
people cheering people on
confetti thrown unto the semi-rained on street
bald old man in a small apartment singing Perry Como on top of his lungs
dancing with the make-believe woman of his dreams.

the band kicks in
the trombones and the cymbals and the rest of them players
the baton twirlers in their shimmering, white skirts
smiling at strangers like there was no tomorrow
thinking of the men who left them behind for others.

parade goes on and on
halts in front of a massive stage of lights
what do you know, on it was Her
getting ready for the performance to top all performances
wow, what a time to ponder about Him.

hey, the show must go on
so, let's give it up for Jam
sing us a song, dance to the Lambada
act like you're on top of the world
instead of pretending to be someone you no longer are.

-july 15, 2002-
-9:41 PM-
-PC-

Hanging on

the scent of boredom
is too thick to ignore--
the sweat and its source become one.
no matter how cold the water
you splash on your face to keep
from falling into slumber,
your lashes slowly flutter...
making it impossible for me
to escape the depths
of your eyes.

-June 17, 2002-
-10:32 am-
-g207-